“How do I stay calm when my kids are driving me crazy?!”
It’s a common question we hear from parents and we get it. When your kids are doing something that seems designed to push your buttons and make you mad, it can be hard to stay calm and not yell. We also know that you don’t want to be the parent who yells. You just want your kids to listen.
Which is why today, Dr. Phelan is talking about:
- How you can use your irritation constructively!
- The ways that talking, negotiating, and arguing affection your level of frustration, and your parenting self-esteem
- What you can do to keep your cool, even in the most frustrating situations
No Talking, No Emotion
One of the most important rules of the 1-2-3 Magic program is the "no talking, no emotion" rule when you are counting. It's also one of the hardest to follow. As humans we tend to want to talk and reason, but when it comes to getting kids to behave, it's better to stay calm and stay quiet.
Expectations
One way to help yourself to stay calm and not get angry with your kids when the misbehave is to set realistic expectations. If you have an expectation that your kids will always be well-behaved, that they will always listen, and they will always do something the first time they're asked without arguing, you're going to be disappointed and frustrated.
If you instead set realistic expectations about how often your kids are going to fight with each other, when they're going to use the high-pitched voice you don't like, or the fact that young children have tantrums daily, you'll find yourself feeling much calmer when those things do happen because you already know they're coming up! This will make it easier to follow the plans you've made for how to deal with those issues.
Problem Solving
As humans, we feel irritation and anger to push us to solve problems. You can use the energy from the irritation you feel to inspire you to work with your kids and your partner to create a plan to deal with kid's misbehavior at home.