My Cart

0 item(s)$0.00
You have no items in your shopping cart.

0

Have a Question? Need Parenting Advice? ASK DR. PHELAN!

My Cart

0 item(s)$0.00
You have no items in your shopping cart.

0

Swipe to the left

​ Ask Dr. Phelan: Parents Losing Their Temper

February 15, 2019 316 Views No comments


Our next question is from Frank, and it's a good one.

Q: “Dr. Phalen, we have a five-year-old daughter and an eight-year-old boy. We've been trying to do 1-2-3 Magic for many months. My wife and I have a hard time staying patient, especially after telling the kids the same things several times over. We find ourselves raising our voices. I know that we're basically having a temper tantrum ourselves, and it's counter-productive, but we still struggle. Can you offer any tips?”

W get this question quite a bit because staying calm is part of 1-2-3 Magic. It's a big part of it.

Here are several thoughts:

  • Sometimes it helps take a look at how you were raised by your parents. For example, did you have a parent who was screamer? Do you tend to repeat that automatically?
  • Are things worse when both parents are in the room? Sometimes it's better to have one parent handle this discipline situation and let the other parent take the next one.
  • Some parents record themselves when they're talking to their kids. Later when they can hear themselves screaming, that tends to be a motivation to calm down next time.
  • If you're telling the kids the same thing over and over, you may have some “start behavior” problems, and you need some routines from 1-2-3 Magic for homework, bedtime, eating, or whatever.
  • Finally, give 1-2-3 Magic a chance to work. The better it works—and it does work—the more you will calm down. If you say, “That’s two,” don't say, “Do you want a timeout?” after. You say, “That’s two,” and you let them make a mistake. That's the way the program works best.

Good question, and good luck!

Submit your parenting question or challenge in the “Ask the Expert” section of www.123magic.com.


Need Help? Call: 1-844-432-7441

We have made updates to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy as of June 1, 2018 to give you more control over your personal information,
support new data protection laws in the European Union called the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), and allow you to make more informed privacy choices when you interact with us.
Read the updates in the links below.

All content and design copyright © 1-2-3 Magic 2019. All Rights Reserved.
View our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.