There are things you believe about parenthood before you become a parent, expectations you have about how a child is going to change your life. But some of the things we believe are myths--because we don't know any better--and some of those myths can be harmful.
If you believe any of these 8 myths, you may find yourself frustrated with your partner or your children without really understanding why. When that happens, use it as an opportunity to pause, think about why you're upset, and try to understand if it's because of an action, or because of an expectation you had (but never discussed).
What are the 8 parenting myths Dr. Phelan talks about?
An adorable little baby will bring us closer together as a couple
Mom and Dad will share equally in primary and secondary childcare as well as housework
My child will respond right away to calm and reasonable logic
Parenting will come naturally. I will immediately bond with my child, and the kids will be fun and cute
Siblings’ love for each other will match parental love
Mutual anger in a family is bad, it’s a sign that something is wrong
My freedom to move about the country will be the same (Hidden Myth)
I will never feel sad or depressed about having children
These myths are largely influenced by society, by the way we were raised, by the media, and by our own lack of knowledge about parenting before we become parents. And they're not always things we talk about before we have kids.
The first step to getting rid of these mythical beliefs is to know they exist (you're one step ahead already!). Next, start to notice when your frustrations show up so that you can realign your reactions with what's happening in reality, not with some of the myths you believed.