​Quick Conflict Resolution is Critical

​Quick Conflict Resolution is Critical

​Quick Conflict Resolution is Critical

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When a parent makes a demand of a child or turns down a request, we have a mini-conflict situation. How parents and kids resolve these situations hour after hour and day after day has a huge impact on family life, marriages, mental health and on the ultimate maturity of children as adults.

It is absolutely essential, therefore, that parents learn to efficiently resolve the conflicts that result from saying "No" to a child's request or from asking a child to do something.

A basic parent/child conflict resolution rule is this: The longer a conflict goes unresolved and the more talking done, the poorer the outcome will be.

Learning to resolve conflicts efficiently means quickly as well as reasonably. In mini-conflict situations kids have four options: cooperation, negotiation, testing and noncompliance. For everyone involved, cooperation or successful negotiations are the best outcomes. Mini-conflicts, though, can quickly become maxi-conflicts. The longer a conflict goes unresolved, the more those involved talk and the angrier they get.

When this happens, the chances of cooperation are minimal and the chances of testing and noncompliance are high. Repeat this sequence hundreds of times over the years and you produce miserable families and kids who grow up to be aggravating, immature adults.

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June 23, 2015
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