Manager Mom Syndrome: a phenomenon in which the mother's supervision, direction, and monitoring are seen as constantly essential for a smoothly running home. In this scenario, Mom is Family President, Chief Servant, and First Responder.
The goal of Manager Mom is to get the work done now and to get it done right. Unfortunately, this agenda has several negative consequences. First, children are seen as a series of daily jobs that need to get done—rather than as people to be enjoyed—and their independence is squashed. Second, Dad falls into the role of Mom's "helper," but he is often perceived as not carrying his load with regard to childcare and household tasks. And third, Manager Mom Syndrome often means that Mom feels overwhelmed.
According to Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, the solution to Firing Manager Mom is to change our basic family model. Read on to find out how you can accomplish this in your own home.
Do you enjoy being the family nag? I’m sure you don’t. However, in most American families, an unwitting conspiracy involving children, mothers, and fathers too often produces a condition known as the Manager Mom phenomenon. Manager Mom means that a mother’s supervision, direction, and monitoring are seen (by everyone in the family, including Mom!) as constantly essential for a smoothly running home.
How can we get the kids to help relieve Manager Mom? My theory is that parenting strategies that help with the Big Three—(1) family bonding, (2) kids’ independence, and (3) the division of labor around the house—will help eradicate Manager Mom syndrome.