My Cart

0 item(s)$0.00
You have no items in your shopping cart.

0

Have a Question? Need Parenting Advice? ASK DR. PHELAN!

My Cart

0 item(s)$0.00
You have no items in your shopping cart.

0

Swipe to the left

Posts tagged '1-2-3 Magic: Self-Esteem'

​Your Child's Self-Esteem: 5 Key Building Blocks

October 11, 2016 15201 Views No comments

When your kids are adults their self-esteem will be an important barometer of how well life is going for them, and if they are going to maintain a realistic and healthy self-respect, two things will be required: 1) reasonable, real-world success and 2) a fair internal judge. Your youngsters will need to get along with other people, some of whom are kind and some of whom are obnoxious. They'll need to find some kind of satisfying work—at home or outside. They must also learn to manage and care for the only body they'll ever have, and life will frequently demand effort, guts and self-control.

While your children are working on all this, they'll also need to learn to judge themselves fairly, without indulging in either exaggerated self-criticism or unjustified self-congratulation.

Just how do you prepare your children for the real world, and how do you prepare them to manage the life-long struggle for self-esteem?

Good Parenting Builds Your Child's Self-Esteem

November 18, 2015 3919 Views No comments

In a sense, affection is the "I like you" part of parenting. Affection is a self-esteem builder for kids because it represents a direct confirmation of the young person and it contributes to the social-competence part of the self-esteem equation. Praise is the "I like—or I am proud of—what you are doing" part of parenting. Praise is also a self-esteem builder because it recognizes and reinforces competent behavior in a child.

When it comes to affection and praise, however, parents have a harder job than you might expect. While affection and praise are obvious self-esteem boosts to children as well as great relationship strengtheners, we parents usually do not engage in these types of behavior nearly as often as we should. Adults have the tendency to give feedback to children when the parents are angry, but to keep quiet when they are happy with the youngster's behavior.

​A Reality Check for Parents

June 15, 2014 7459 Views No comments

A basic principle of good discipline requires that parents, teachers and other caretakers have realistic expectations of what children are capable of doing. It is obviously going to be crippling to self-esteem if the child is not ready to do all the things the parents expect. You don't try to toilet train a 12-month-old, expect a four-year-old to know his multiplication tables, hope that your seven-year-old son and his four-year-old sister will stop fighting for good, or punish your three-year-old daughter because she can't clean up her room.

​What's Your Parenting Style?

January 15, 2014 5264 Views No comments

Download a Printable PDFEn Español

Promoting the self-discipline and self-esteem of one's children often requires an emotional juggling act by parents. It is not easy to be firm and demanding one minute, then warm and affectionate the next. In addition, some adults naturally have personalities or temperaments that predispose them toward one parenting style or the other.

Authoritarian Parenting

Parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side of the equation are referred to as authoritarian. Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiring obedience and respect above all else. They become overly angry and forceful when they don't get that obedience and respect. Their love and acceptance appear totally conditional to the child. They do not listen to their kids or explain the reason for their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic. They often see their children's individuality and independence as irrelevant or threatening

Research has shown that authoritarian parents tend to produce children who are more withdrawn, anxious, mistrustful and discontented. These children are often overlooked by their peers. Their self-esteem is often poor.

Permissive Parenting

Parents who overemphasize the self-esteem side of the equation are referred to as permissive. They may be warm and supportive, but they are not good disciplinarians. They make only weak demands for good behavior and they tend to avoid or ignore obnoxious behavior. They seem to believe that children should grow up without any anger, tears or frustrations. They reinforce demanding and inconsiderate behavior from their children. Their love and acceptance are "unconditional" in the worst sense of the word, for they set few limits on what their children do.

Research has shown that permissive parents tend to produce children who are more immature, demanding and dependent. These children are often rejected by their peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and hard to interpret, for they often blame others for their misfortunes.

The Authoritative Parenting Model

Parents who are able to provide for both the discipline and self-esteem needs of their youngsters are referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate high—but not unrealistic—demands for their children's behavior. They expect good things from their kids and reinforce those things when they occur. When kids act up, on the other hand, authoritative parents respond with firm limits, but without fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and sensitive to a child's needs. They are supportive of a child's individuality and encourage growing independence.

Parents who are able to provide for both the discipline and self-esteem needs of their youngsters are referred to as authoritative. They clearly communicate high—but not unrealistic—demands for their children's behavior. They expect good things from their kids and reinforce those things when they occur. When kids act up, on the other hand, authoritative parents respond with firm limits, but without fits of temper. They are warm, reasonable and sensitive to a child's needs. They are supportive of a child's individuality and encourage growing independence.


Want to use these articles in your newsletter or on your website?

Click here to email your request.


1-2-3 Magic: Quick Parenting TipTantrums

When your child throws a tantrum, what is the first thing you should do? Disengage immediately. No talk, no emotion, no eye contact. Why? Because you are the audience for the tantrum, the target of their anger, and the power that can grant them their frustrated wish. Courage!


Need Help? Call: 1-844-432-7441

View our Shipping Policy.

We have made updates to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy as of June 1, 2018 to give you more control over your personal information, support new data protection laws in the European Union called the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), and allow you to make more informed privacy choices when you interact with us. Read the updates in the links below.

All content and design copyright © 1-2-3 Magic 2019. All Rights Reserved.
View our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.