Posts tagged '1-2-3 Magic: Overparenting'

The two biggest mistakes that most Dads make trying to use positive discipline with their children are these: Too Much Talking and Too Much Emotion. Does this nighttime conversation sound familiar to you?

Dad: "Honey, don't you think it's time for bed? It's 9:15 already."
Honey (7 years old): "No."
Dad: "But you don't want to be all tired in the morning, do you?"
Honey: "I want to read another story."
Dad: "We've already done four stories. I think that's enough."
Honey: "I never get to do anything."
Dad: "You never get to do anything?! What do you call the zoo ALL DAY? Nothing!?"
Honey: cries

Thinking of kids as little adults and talking and chattering too much is bad because it either doesn't work or it takes you through the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome. Ironically, too much talking and explaining makes kids less likely to cooperate because it irritates and distracts them.

Why is too much emotion destructive?

Overparenting refers to unnecessary corrective, cautionary or disciplinary comments made by parents to kids.

Adults who overparent usually do it repeatedly and overparenting has predictable, negative effects on children. The negative reaction is what we call the "Anxious Parent, Angry Child" syndrome. Continually expressing unnecessary worries about kids to the kids irritates the youngsters because it insults them. The parent's basic message is this: "I have to worry about you so much because you're incompetent; there's not much you can do on your own without my supervision and direction." No child likes to be put down, and overparenting is definitely a put-down.